Tuesday, April 27, 2010
The 109th Day @ 4:13 PM
The rush of life seems to be dying down..
The days start to dwindle by...
It seems like..
Whenever I'm at my lowest,
I'll always be alone..
Just like now..
I feel so upset..
And I really want to share with someone..
But I'm all alone..
No one at home..
There's no one to talk to now..
Why?..
Just when i feel like pouring out everything..
The feeling doesn't just come like that ><..
It's hard to come-by...
And yet...
Haiz..
I need a hug ><..
Or a least a pat on the head ><..
After all..
I am just still a kid..
At heart at least ><..
I realise...
That although i share my troubles, my worries, my doubts, my pains and thoughts with my friends..
They are the same age as me..
Do i expect them to be able to solve my problems?..
But i guess..
All I'm actually doing is getting it off my chest..
In the end,
I'll have to sort it out myself..
I was reading "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" earlier in class..
And well..
Let me type out what i read...
Its only a short portion though..
[One moment you're pals; then all of a sudden your heart kicks into high gear. You sigh when you think of this person. You find yourself daydreaming of the next time you can spend with this "friend." Or you're with a group of friends, and when that particular person talks with someone else you feel... something. Jealous? Possessive?
You try to reason with yourself. "Why would i feel this way? We're just friends. We're brother and sister in Christ..." You can say whatever you want, but you know that deep down that you've crunched.]
Somehow..
This just kicked me hard..
Like..
I feel what the author talks about familiar..
Especially the part on the actions..
But as i think about it again..
I just the feelings,
Although may still be there,
Don't affect me as much anymore..
Not to say that they don't affect me at all though...
Haiz..
T.T...
I guess,
All i can do now,
Is just hope for a better tomorrow..
A tomorrow that i can smile living.. :D
Now now,
I'm not being emo in this post :X
Its just..
My emotions are spilling out..
And i don't have anyone to talk to..
So i guess,
Some of my emotions are spilling out here :XX
I got a black book..
And i guess..
What i want with that book..
Is for people to write in it..
Not myself..
But others..
I want to know your thoughts :X
If you ever see me holding the book,
Don't hesitate to write in it :X
Your words will encourage me a lot..
And just to add...
Everyone reading this,
Is a great friend of mine :D
You may not feel like it,
But the fact that you take time to read what i write..
Means something to me :D
Although i feel like I'm talking to the wall..
It sometimes feels enlightening when you know that you're heard...
So everyone,
Thanks :D My great friends :DD
It the end, Its whats on the inside that counts..
Love another not for their looks,
But for who they truly are :D
