Monday, August 23, 2010
The 218th Day @ 8:29 PM
I has been 6 days since i last blogged..
Stuck to what i said, and for the last few days, decided not to blog..
Honestly speaking, still a little out of sorts now..
But alas, I want give myself a chance to re-evaluate all my problems,
Through writing a little here..
That, and Jing Zhi has been bugging me to blog =x
Well lets see,
The most recent problem of mine..
Well, it just took place today actually.
I realised that my relationship with my AVA teammates isn't all that great,
The communication is not there..
Didn't know there was AVA duty today,
Cause i didn't listen to the announcement in the morning,
And no one said anything about it,
Only found out cause a friend of mine was involved in the assembly.
So stepped into the hall,
And one of my teammates started 'complaining?'(Not sure how to describe it)
Commenting that i was late,
Of course, at that time, i still didn't know that an announcement was made,
And just said that I didn't know about it,
And what he said next got me pretty pissed..
He said something like, 'Talk so loud until cannot hear' (Referring to me of course)
After that, I kinda shouted at him,
Cause like,
The teachers wanted the lights on,
And we always turn off the stage lights and the first row of lights,
So that the projector can be seen,
I saw that teammate walking towards the controls behind the curtains,
And ALL the lights came on,
Including the stage lights and first row lights..
In the end, Although he walked to the controls,
He said that he wasn't the one to turn on the lights?
I guess, I was in the wrong too,
But you'd think that he'll realise the lights were on since he was on stage..
Oh well..
There have been a few more incidents prior to this that has gotten me upset at him..
Not going to elaborate further,
But i guess I have to try and understand him more..
Talked to my teacher about it,
And he said that he'll talk to them?!? ><...
Oh, and i found out that i have AVA duty on Friday for Teacher's Day rehearsal,
And that on Friday, My AVA is buying in lunch for us?..
Gosh.. That means that i have to run two-ways on Friday?
Cause the CCA Excos will be using a portable speaker at the hard court..
And i have a feeling that they'll play around with the equipment again ><..
Kidding, kidding, I trust them enough..
Just have to pop by once in a while to make sure everything is okay..
Ohs..
Can't go for my jog today ><..
Dad doesn't allow it since its still raining and the ground is wet and all,
Guess I'll just have to exercise around the house..
Still, was kinda hoping to jog in a slight drizzle =x
A more pressing matter on my heart though,
Although i won't elaborate much about it here,
Is just basically me,
And my idiotic words..
I guess, the words just don't go through my head before coming out..
But than again, Its because of impulsive words like these,
That allow heartfelt feelings to be made known..
And yeah,
Have been feeling lonely,
A lot MORE so recently..
Its hard to live with that feeling..
The feeling of having an empty void inside you,
Which you just can't seem to fill..
Have a changed for the worse recently?
Maybe..
What ever happened to the me that was worth a friend's admiration?
I guess i loss him 'Somewhere along in the bitterness'?
Okay, That's as far as i will go with my troubles..
The list won't ever end,
If i keep looking at the down side of life..
At least I'm still able to take deep breaths,
At least I'm still able to feel the breeze while it rains,
At least I'm still able to stare out aimlessly at the sky,
At least I'm still able to day-dream..
At least I'm still alive(:
Troubles will always come our way,
And you don't learn how to prevent them from occurring,
You learn how to work your way through your problems,
And come out of them stronger than before[=
As bothered as i am,
I still want to be able to smile..
Re-looking those qualities i had,
Its time for re-assessment of life,
I want to improve myself to become who i want to be[=
Throw away those feelings of wanting to be special,
Cause you already are special,
Don't yearn for someone you can feel close to,
Learn from someone you can trust,
All these words,
Easier said than done,
Yet, They aren't impossible to do[=
